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<title>realisations ( or, two idiots who don't know that they're gay for each other ) by cloudytxbio</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24147856">realisations ( or, two idiots who don't know that they're gay for each other )</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudytxbio/pseuds/cloudytxbio'>cloudytxbio</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, There's cursing, hinata is also awkward but he's still our smol sunboi, i first wrote this at 4am in the morning pls help, i hope this hasnt been done before but if it has hopefully it lives up to expectations, i wrote this while procrastinating my homework help, kageyama is socially awkward as always, sjksjskdj just another kagehina fic, sleep deprived me is someone who procrastinates by writing apparently, tags are a pain but eh, two idiots in love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:01:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,309</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24147856</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudytxbio/pseuds/cloudytxbio</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>kageyama and hinata have no idea that they're gay ( because well, they share one braincell ) but they're about to find out.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>realisations ( or, two idiots who don't know that they're gay for each other )</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hiii this is my first fic :&gt; hope yall like it even though it's only 1k+ words but there's gonna be more chapters soon hehe<br/>( also the chapter title is a troye sivan lyric oops )</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>I.</em> </p><p>the first time kageyama realises he’s maybe not that into girls was in junior high. suddenly all his classmates were talking about girls but all he could think about was volleyball. he only wanted to get better, practice his serve and his blocks and his toss, and not some girl that his classmates are all fantasising over. </p><p><em>II.</em> </p><p>the second time is when he sees the sports magazine kindaichi has lying on his desk, flipped to a page where the headline was something about swimsuits. all he remembers is swallowing a lump in his throat that had suddenly risen up and oh god, why am i like this. he blames it on having a sore throat. he knows he’s wrong.</p><p><em>III.</em> </p><p>the third time is when karasuno lost to seijoh in the inter high qualifiers. everyone was just so down on that day, but kageyama could see that it was worse for hinata. hinata, whose spike didn’t make it past the block. hinata, who always grinned brighter than anyone could and got more excited than was even humanly possible, was quiet for the first time in forever. every single one in the team blamed themselves a little, but hinata blamed himself for everything. kageyama could see it in the way hinata’s eyes would trail off when they were walking home together that day, the way hinata could only give a half hearted nod when daichi asked if everyone was okay. everyone was clearly, not okay, but for hinata to be giving that kind of response, was just unbelievable. </p><p>so when kageyama got back from his midnight jog that was an attempt to clear his head ( it didn’t, if anything, it just made him unable to sleep even more ) and finally checked his phone and saw hinata was online, he texted him to come over. he didn’t think that much of it at first, hinata had been to his house many times, and vice versa. kageyama liked hinata’s house, it was warm and his sister natsu was just like him, small and always smiling. </p><p>when hinata climbed in through the window, kageyama is in the middle of changing his sweaty t shirt which means, of course, he’s shirtless. “kageyama...” hinata starts, trailing off and kageyama hastily pulls on the shirt he has over his ears, feeling the colour rise to his cheeks. hinata is still quiet, looking down at the floor and kageyama just wants to make it stop. in that moment, he would do anything for hinata to grin that big grin at him again, maybe even shout a few insults at him. just anything other than this quiet hinata. </p><p>“boke, come here,” kageyama says, tossing his sticky t-shirt aside. hinata looks up at that, and maybe if this was any other day, kageyama would make fun of him for immediately responding to boke. he doesn’t though, because the pain and the guilt is all too familiar. because he’s been through it before himself. his last junior high match, when he tossed and no one came to spike. of course, they lost, and kageyama blames himself. he blames everything on himself and he’s pretty sure the rest of kitagawa dai-ichi blames him too. but he’s moved on from that. he found karasuno. he found the bright orange haired idiot who became one of his first friends and a partner. he found his family, and if kageyama had went to aoba johsai, he doesn’t know if he would change for the better. karasuno was his team, his family and his happiness. volleyball was his happiness. but now, seeing hinata happy was all he wanted. that big smile that always seemed too bright for the world. </p><p>hinata drops down onto kageyama’s bed, and kageyama sits on the edge of the bed, unsure how to continue. </p><p>“i know we’re all pretty fucking down about the aoba johsai match. especially you, and don’t deny it boke, i know you,” kageyama starts, uncertain. “but then that’s just part of being in a team. you can’t expect to win all the time, even though it feels pretty damn good to win. all i’m saying is, don’t blame yourself too much. hinata.”</p><p>hinata looks at kageyama, and in that moment, kageyama could see the guilt and the pain in the other boy’s eyes and he realises how much he would give to take that away. take all of hinata’s burdens and carry it himself, if that’s what it takes for hinata to be <em>hinata</em> again. </p><p>and then hinata’s putting his head on kageyama’s shoulder and kageyama can smell the shampoo that hinata uses and the underlying reek of sweat ( he doesn’t mind at all, actually ). he’s taken aback by it at first, but then he leans against hinata too. </p><p>“who knew kageyama could be caring?” hinata finally speaks and even though kageyama couldn’t see his face, he could feel hinata smiling against his shoulder. </p><p>kageyama nudges hinata with his shoulder, saying “shut up or i’ll knock you off the bed”. hinata laughs and then it’s the most beautiful sound in the world and suddenly he couldn’t see anything else other than this orange haired boy with a laugh that’s pure honey and eyes that could hold the entire galaxy in them. </p><p><em>shit.</em> </p><p>
  <em>you’re just friends, kageyama. you’re not gay. even if you are, hinata isn’t. the two of you are just tired and overwhelmed over losing, that’s all.</em>
</p><p>they fall asleep to each other’s heartbeats and kageyama refusing to believe his own messy thoughts concerning the boy whose head was currently on his shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>IV.</em>
</p><p>the last time is when he’s tossing to hinata, after the tokyo training camp and a few weeks after hinata said he wanted to jump with his eyes open.  hinata is running, springing up to spike, when kageyama stops short for a second, to look at how hinata jumps and how his body was exactly the perfect form for a spike. the toss comes up short, and hinata is shouting, “kageyama you idiot!” but kageyama knows he doesn’t mean it. </p><p>“right, sorry,” is all he could say, because how could he say anything else when he was just so clearly checking out his friend? hinata punches his shoulder, saying something about the thing that has even kageyama dazed out. kageyama curses underneath his breath, knowing that if hinata ever knew that the thing that occupied him was actually himself, he would never hear the end of it. and kageyama knows that maybe, this is wrong. friends don’t look at each other’s bodies, they don’t fight colour rising to their cheeks when the other gets too close, each touch feeling too close even if it’s just a hug or leaning their head on each others’ shoulders.</p><p>they’re changing in the club room when hinata is pulling his shirt over his head, exposing the toned stomach and the muscle underneath. kageyama’s eyes are wide and his vision goes a little blurry because <em>damn, did hinata look good.</em> it’s not like they haven’t changed in front of each other before, but those were just brief glimpses back when he didn’t want to look. but now he’s <em>looking</em> alright, and shit he can’t tear his eyes away. </p><p>fuck this, kageyama thinks and then he’s closing the distance between him and hinata, which isn’t much actually, and catching hinata whose shirt is hanging on his shoulders off guard by pressing their lips together. </p><p>hinata freezes for a second but then kageyama could almost swear that he could feel hinata kissing back. it’s sloppy, with both of them having no experience at all but then underneath all that, it was pretty nice actually. of course, kageyama had nothing to compare to but for a kiss, it was pretty great.</p><p>
  <em>maybe i am gay.</em>
</p><p>until tanaka bursts in through the door, forcing the two to jump apart.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>oops sorry for the cliffhanger but i rly hoped people enjoyed that! thank you for reading &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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